A Turn for the Worse

The fatigue continued to get worse and worse. I first started going to sleep at 9 p.m. so that I’d have enough energy to get up and make it through a work day. But then, that wasn’t early enough, and I began going to sleep by 8 p.m. and even then I didn’t have enough energy to make it through the day. So I literally began going to sleep when I got home from work. I’d get something to eat and then get to sleep by 6:30 p.m. and even then, with twelve hours sleep, my day was a struggle.

My appetite had been non-existent and because I was only awake 12 hours a day I was missing meals. Because of the lack of energy, preparing food hasn’t been a priority either, so I’ve lost about 5 lbs in the past two weeks. I’m really thin compared to any time in my life. I don’t think I’ve weighed 120 lbs since I was in junior high school. I really don’t want to lose any more weight, but I just haven’t had the energy to prepare food or eat.

Friday, the 16^th, and my birthday, things came to a head and I left work early. I cancelled my evening plans, and was in bed by 3 p.m. Yet Saturday, I awoke at 10:00 a.m. just to realize that I didn’t have any more energy than when I went to sleep. This was the worse day I have had since my diagnosis, and may actually have been my worse ever, even compared to the days prior to my diagnosis that I refer to as my walking zombie days.

I have been soooo strict on the healing diet, yet things got worse and worse. Dr. Azar says you cleanse in layers, and this did not surprise her. But ultimately, I have been feeling ill since the end of January, and I cannot continue this way.

I made the decision Friday night to start back on the medication. Dr. Sigmon had recommended that I start back up on the mesalamine, which is an anti-inflammatory, the last two times I have seen him. I didn’t listen and tried to manage things holistically. But Friday night it became evident that I would have a long painful road ahead of me if I were to continue holistically.

I started back on the mesalamine Friday night. But when I awoke Saturday feeling so bad after seventeen hours sleep, I also started on the budesonide. Budesonide is an immune system suppressant and corticosteroid. I really didn’t want to start taking this, but I felt so miserable, so much so that I couldn’t image that the mesalamine alone would make an impact in a timely basis. Mesalamine is really meant to keep Crohn’s in remission, not to manage a flare up and clearly I was having a sever flare up.

I have already taken many days off of work this year, and I can’t afford to take another two weeks off right now which was the picture in my mind that would occur if I relied upon the mesalamine alone.

I’m very disappointed that back on the meds. But holistically working through this will take much longer and require much more time off work, and I don’t know how to keep my job with the amount of time I believe this disease would require curing holistically.

So I’m back on the meds. I feel better today than yesterday, but keep in mind, yesterday I was like the walking dead. I only got up to eat and use the rest room.

Oh yeah, in all of this of course, my bowel movements are all messed up. I almost didn’t make it to the toilet in enough time on Friday night. That would have been very embarrassing.

Now, the side effects of the meds have my muscles and joints fatigued everywhere. I had so much pain in my left ankle yesterday, I had to use a cane to get around the house. Of course I have Stephanie and Rick taking care of Rusty, because I don’t have enough energy to walk him.

Last time I was on the meds, it took about 4 to 5 days in order for me to have enough strength to make it through a work day. Tonight will make 2 full days. I really hope I can get back to work before Wednesday.

Any ways, once I am feeling good again and all my symptoms are gone, I do plan on weaning of the medication again, in an attempt to stay of the meds this time.